Thursday, October 23, 2014

{i am courageous}...are you?

i found this wonderful quote on my friend, kelly's facebook page.  i though it was amaZing and just what i need to remind myself daily to keep moving forward.  to keep putting one foot in front of the other.  even if i take two steps back, even if i fall, even if it's just not a good day.  that no matter what may be going on in my life, that i will continue to have {COURAGE}!!
COURAGE to face the day and know that i gave it my all that day. 
COURAGE to stand up for myself.
COURAGE to know that my dreams are important.
COURAGE to keep having faith in all things.
COURAGE to stay strong even in my darkest moments.
COURAGE to get me through my pain.
COURAGE to love those that aren't always nice.
COURAGE to stay focused on what makes me, ME!!
please share your courageous heart tOdaY!!  we all need each other.

Saturday, October 11, 2014

in the middle of my little mess,
i forget how big i'm blessed!!!  
                                      ~andi burgos
i am so extremely blessed to know that no matter what, god is always with me.  that he gives me such wonderful ways of showing all is good.  that i have much to be grateful and blessed for.  whether it be a lesson or a blessing i am thankful for all my life experiences.  each day is a new day.  each day is a new start to make my life all that i want it to be.  to make me realize that no matter how messy things are and can get in my life, there are so many more blessing.  today, i am loving god's aRt!!  this photo reminds me to see the blessings that were given to me so i could experience this wonderful masterpiece.
what is one of your blessings tOdaY?

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

tell me how i will know...
tell me how i will know when it's ok to cry.
tell me how i will know when it's ok to feel.
tell me how i will know what love feels like.
tell me how i will know that i'll be safe.
tell me how i will know that you will never leave.
tell me how i will know that you will never hurt me.
tell me how i will know when it's time to be strong.
tell me how i will know that it's ok to be weak.
tell me how i will know it's time to go.
tell me how i will know that it's ok to let go.

tell me how i will know.

Sunday, August 24, 2014

the next chapter...

i can't believe it's been 20 days since my last post. life has been pretty busy. not busy where i am not taking the necessary time for myself. just busy as a lot of changes are taking place. my chapters are changing. the story is being written differently than i had planned.

have you ever looked at your life as a story?  as a book that only you can write.  lately, ok this past year has been a true eye opener to me.  I have made some changes that have rewritten my story.  it's ok to make the changes.  sometimes if you don't, you may get stuck in a chapter that is not healthy for you.  you may get stuck in a place that seems too familiar and that it's time to turn the page.

this year i took a look in the mirror.  i started not liking who i had become.  who i was changing into.  yet, it was ok.  it was comfortable and i could handle it.  at least that is what i thought.  i thought everything was fine.  i thought everything was O.K.  it wasn't, i noticed i put on my mask again and just stayed in a place that was "comfortable".  who was it comfortable for?  me?  my family?  my friends?  i thought so.  i thought all was well.  little did i know that a part of my story was ending.  apart of the life i had written was starting to fade and the pages weren't making sense.

this chapter of my life that i had known for 5 years was ending.  no re-do or trying to write a new path for this chapter, just ending.  how could this be happening?  how could this be HAPPENING?!  i thought all was well.  i had my eyes close to what i knew and forgot to look at each day anew.  then someone else wrote a chapter i wasn't paying attention too.  i feel as though i was blindsided by what was happening.  i feel like there were no answers to my questions.  i felt that it wasn't gong to change or i wasn't going to be able to rewrite the story. 

with that being said, i knew this chapter of my life was now over.  how could it be?  how could i not have noticed?  how could i have been so "blind" to what was right in front of me.  maybe sometimes when you are in love you don't want to see all the writing on the wall.  all the writing that could take it all away.  my heart now was shattered and it was tested, again.

i am not afraid, i am not ashamed and i am daily reminding's not all my fault.  how can it be?  i know nothing of to why it is ending.  when one person is willing to move forward to change the past and the other just wants to start over, there is no way to be on the same page.  the story, the chapter can not be written.  you have to take a closer look at what will be written now.  how will it end and what steps will be taken to close this chapter and start again.

i have finally accepted that this chapter is over.  that i can not change others and even though i would do whatever it took to keep the story going and alive, it takes two for this chapter to be written.

so how do i start this new chapter?  how do i pick up the pieces when the pages have now been ripped apart?  how do i begin to heal so i can write? 

just that... pick up a pen (or computer) and begin!

Monday, August 4, 2014

happiness & depression

"there is no difference between happiness and depression.  they both have the same process.  it is just the content that is not the same.  both will come and go.  the major difference between them is what we do with them.
we are always seeking happiness.  when we see it coming we say, "ah, come here, I see you.  stay with me always."  happiness laughs and says, "oh, she's seen me, I can leave now."  and it does. 
with depression, we see it coming, and we say: "go away, I don't want you.  not me."  and depression sighs and says, "here we go again, I'm going to have to get bigger and bigger for her to hear me and learn what I have to teach."  so it taps us on the shoulder and says. "over here, over here!" until it gets our attention.  then it leaves.
both happiness and depression have something to teach us.  both will come and go.  both will return.  it is our response and openness to learn from both that makes the difference".
"my happiness is a gift.  my depression is a gift.  both are like butterflies in my life."
~Anne Wilson Schaef
i am reading a meditation book and this was what i read the other day.  it hit me like a ton of bricks.  most of you know that i have struggled with depression all my life.  when i read this i realized how true the words were while i read them.  i have been making huge strides in my life this year.  one being that i would no longer be on antidepressants.  i can happily say...i am medication free!!!  my world has brought me so many happy times along with some trials and struggles.  what i have learned {and continue to learn} is i get to decide if i choose happiness or depression. 
i {choose} happiness!!!
photo credit: Teresa Collins

wishing you all much love, kindness and happiness always. 
may you choose each day to be happy. 
may you choose each day to find the peace you are longing for. 
may you choose each day joy through the hard times.
may you choose love over hate.
may you choose life over death.
may you choose kindness.
love and hugs,

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

photo credit: conniecapron2012

"we must be willing to let go of the life we planned
so as to have the life that is waiting for us".
~E. M. Forester

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

The moment will arrive when you are comfortable with who you are,
and what you are – bald or old or fat or poor, successful or struggling –
when you don't feel the need to apologize for anything or to deny anything.
To be comfortable in your own skin is the beginning of strength.”
                                                                                                        ~Charles B. Handy

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

my aunt sherry shared this on her facebook page and i wanted to share it with all of you!!  truly amazing words and pictures.  as i am often reminded by family and friends, i must put my trust and faith in the lord. 

have a blessed day!
love and hugs

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

"don't make hasty decisions based on emotion.
  when dealing with fear and loss,
give yourself time before acting."
~author unkown

Monday, May 19, 2014

she is enough!

my heart aches as i just finished reading another blog on how mental illness has taken control over someone's life.  this sweet girl McKenna, only 18 has discovered that she has BPD {BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER}.
{photo credit}
i can not say enough about how BRAVE she is.  please read blog and share her{ story}.  the more people know, the more they understand.  if only i knew what she is learning now, how much better and easier my life could of been.  this young lady is wise beyond her years and i am truly proud to say i know her family.  i hope she knows she is NEVER alone and that she IS ENOUGH!!!
 this life is a true test and adventure, what we learn from it only makes us better and stronger.  remember, we don't wear signs and we don't know what others may be going through.  show love, be kind, give a smile, a hug or simple gesture to acknowledge them.  we are all struggling with some kind of trials in this large big world, please don't make it harder on someone else to make yourself feel better.  he never said it would be easy, he only said it would be worth it.
may is BPD awareness month and it's a great time to learn more, share more, help more and love more.
{here} you can read my post i wrote over 2 years ago.
love and hugs